Networking (the hidden traps)
Introduction
While networking is often promoted as a key leadership and change skill, it carries several traps that can make it superficial, manipulative, or even counterproductive — especially in the context of authentic change leadership.
“…Superficial networking has a seductive appeal. It feels efficient, measurable and productive. Tick boxes, track connections and walk away with the illusion of progress. But it is all so fragile…”
Michelle Gibbings, 2025g
Traps (how they appear and how to avoid them)
1. The Transaction Trap
This happens when networking becomes purely instrumental – when being about what you can get from others (access, favours, information, or status), rather than what you can give or build together.
Typical mindset:
“Who can help me get ahead?” instead of “Who can we learn from or grow with?”
Consequences:
- Others feel used, not valued.
- Relationships fade when they’re no longer “useful.”
- Creates a culture of exchange, not trust.
Avoid by:
- Shifting focus from extraction to contribution.
- Asking: “How can I add value to this person or community?”
2. The Quantity Trap
Description:
Focusing on how many people you know, rather than the quality of those relationships. This can narrow your field of trust (by spreading your energy too thinly you can risk missing the deeper relationships that are important; it is better to invest deeply rather than broadly in order to achieve a relationship of depth and trust, plus more meaningful ties. However, weak connections can be powerful conduits for innovation and fresh perspectives (do not underestimate the role of distant acquaintance for spreading information and locating new opportunities.)
“…Weak ties should complement, not replace, your strong alliance. Breath without depth creates a network that is wide but shallow…”
Michelle Gibbings, 2025g
Typical behaviour:
Collecting business cards, LinkedIn connections, or attending endless networking events, but rarely deepening relationships.
Consequences:
- Shallow networks with limited influence.
- No emotional or trust capital to draw on during change.
- Superficial engagement mistaken for real connection.
Avoid by:
- Investing time in fewer, higher-quality relationships.
- Moving from “contacts” to “connections.”
- Following up meaningfully — listen, reflect, and share.
3. The Echo Chamber Trap (homophily)
This involves networking only with people who think like you, work like you, or agree with you.
Typical pattern:
Gravitating toward your comfort zone, ie, same department, profession or worldview; our tendency to gravitate towards people who are like ourselves: they validate us rather than challenge us.
Consequences:
- Groupthink: ideas and assumptions go unchallenged.
- Innovation and learning decline.
- Change efforts fail to engage the full diversity of perspectives.
“…It feels comfortable, but it limits perspective. Deep relationships flourish in diversity. They challenge us to think differently, adapt and grow, especially in times of uncertainty and complexity…”
Michelle Gibbings, 2025g
Avoid by:
- Building bridging connections across boundaries (functions, levels, cultures).
- Seeking out constructive dissenters - people who see things differently.
- Asking: “Whose voice is missing from this conversation?”
4. The Status Trap
Description:
Networking upwards only, by focusing on people in positions of greater power or prestige.
Typical behaviour:
Ignoring peers, juniors or frontline staff because they seem “less useful.”
Consequences:
- Missed insights from people closest to the work.
- Perception of elitism or self-interest.
- Weak grassroots support for change initiatives.
Avoid by:
- Practising “360° networking”, ie connect up, down and across.
- Valuing influence and insight, not just authority.
- Remember: informal influencers often drive change faster than formal leaders.
5. The Authenticity Trap
Description:
Acting strategically but not authentically by putting on a “networking persona” that feels performative or fake.
Typical signs:
- Over-polished self-presentation.
- Saying what others want to hear.
- Feigned interest without genuine curiosity.
Consequences:
- Damages credibility over time.
- Creates emotional exhaustion (“networking fatigue”).
- Prevents real trust from forming.
Avoid by:
- Being curious rather than impressive.
- Listening more than talking.
- Showing humility — authenticity builds stronger ties than performance.
6. The Maintenance Trap
Description:
Failing to nurture your network by building it once, then neglecting it.
Typical pattern:
Only contacting people when you need something.
Consequences:
- Relationships weaken or disappear.
- Loss of credibility (“They only call when they need me”).
- Reduced responsiveness during change efforts.
Avoid by:
- Checking in regularly with genuine interest.
- Offering updates, resources, or encouragement, even when you don’t need help.
- Treating networks as living systems that require care and attention.
7. The Performance Trap
Description:
Confusing visibility with influence; assuming that attending events or being active online automatically builds real impact.
Typical pattern:
Equating “being seen” with “being trusted.”
Consequences:
- Shallow reputation not backed by substance.
- May alienate others who see the behaviour as self-promotional.
- Limits authentic engagement during change.
Avoid by:
- Balancing visibility with credibility; do the work, not just the talk.
- Focusing on contribution over self-promotion.
- Asking: “How can my presence create value for others?”
8. The Overextension Trap
Description:
Trying to be connected to everyone, everywhere; this leads to network fatigue and loss of focus.
Consequences:
- Spreading yourself too thin.
- Superficial interactions; weak follow-through.
- Reduced capacity for meaningful change work.
Avoid by:
- Prioritising relationships that align with purpose and values.
- Recognising that a smaller, stronger network often has more real influence.
Summary Table
| Trap | Description | Impact on Change | How to Avoid |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1. Transaction | Treating people as means to an end | Creates resistance and distrust | Lead with contribution |
| 2. Quantity | Prioritising breadth over depth | Weak influence network | Focus on quality relationships |
| 3. Echo Chamber | Staying in comfort zone | Limits innovation | Build bridging ties |
| 4. Status | Networking only upward | Misses grassroots insight | Connect up, down, & across |
| 5. Authenticity | Performing rather than relating | Erodes trust | Be real and curious |
| 6. Maintenance | Neglecting relationships | Network decays | Nurture consistently |
| 7. Performance | Mistaking visibility for value | Shallow engagement | Contribute before promoting |
| 8. Overextension | Trying to connect everywhere | Diluted energy | Prioritise aligned relationships |
In Change Management
Leaders and change agents who avoid these traps build networks of trust, not just contacts.
Such networks:
- Spread stories faster than policies.
- Identifying resistance early.
- Foster collaboration across silos.
- Sustain energy long after the change rollout.
In short: sustainable change depends less on how many people you know, and more on how deeply people trust you.
(main source: Michelle Gibbings, 2025g)