Resistance - Internal Family system (6 Fs and 8 Cs)
Introduction
Internal Family Systems (IFS) offers a very human way to understand change. It treats a person not as one unified block of emotion and behaviour, but as a system of “parts” where each protects something important inside us; each part has its own perspective and role that aims to achieve internal harmony by understanding and integrating parts.
When change arrives in an organisation, those parts often react in strong and conflicting ways. Leaders who understand this model can reduce resistance and increase trust.
Four goals of IFS
“…i) To liberate parts from the roles they have been forced into, freeing them to be who they were designed to be.
ii)To restore faith in the self and in self-leadership.
iii) To re-harmonize the inner system.
iv) To encourage the client to become increasingly self-led in their interactions with the world…”
R. Schwartz as quoted by Jeremy Sutton, 2022
NB Each part is like a person.
What is Internal Family Systems
IFS suggests every person has:
• Exiles: vulnerable parts that carry fear, shame or pain from past experiences
• Managers: parts that try to keep us safe and in control by preventing risk
• Firefighters: parts that react when exiles get triggered, by numbing, distracting or fighting back
• Self: the grounded core of a person that is calm, curious and capable of leadership
The goal is not to remove parts, but to help them work together under the leadership of Self.
Some questions that can help “…
- What bodily sensations accompany the part?
- How do you feel regarding each part?
- How does each part feel about you?...”
Jeremy Sutton, 2022
The 6 Fs: The process for working with a part
Therapists use these steps to engage with a protective part without fighting it. Each step matters and has relevance in change leadership.
- Find the part
Notice what part is activated. Example in change: “I feel defensive about this restructuring.” - Focus on it
Give the feeling or thought attention. “Where do I feel that in my body?” - Flesh out
Describe it. What does it look like, sound like, want? - Feel toward it
Notice your attitude toward that part. Warm or hostile? - Befriend
Appreciate that the part is trying to help, even if the behaviour is unhelpful. - Fear
Ask what the part is afraid would happen if it stopped its protective role.
This process turns resistance into insight. Instead of “stop complaining,” it becomes “what are you afraid you will lose?”
Some questions on the parts can help “…
1. What is its role, and how does it help you manage your life?
- What is its relationship with other people?
- What positive intent does it have for you?
- How does it try to protect you?
- What is it trying to protect you from?
- Is it happy with its job? Or would it prefer something else?...”
Jeremy Sutton, 2022
The 8 Cs: Qualities of the Self
When people are connected to their Self, they show these leadership traits:
- Calm
- Curious
- Compassionate
- Confident
- Courageous
- Clarity
- Connected
- Creativity
This is exactly what organisations need from leaders during disruption. The more people who operate from Self, the less energy is wasted in internal battles.
Application to Change Management
IFS maps neatly onto the psychology of organisational change.
1. Resistance comes from protective parts
Managers and employees say:
• “This change threatens my competence.”
• “I will lose control.”
• “I might be judged.”
Their intention is protection, not sabotage.
A leader who assumes positive intent will get cooperation faster.
2. Safety unlocks progress
Change creates anxiety that activates exiles. If a workplace signals shame, blame or uncertainty, protective parts stiffen. A culture that promotes curiosity and compassion helps people shift toward Self.
3. Conversations matter
The 6 Fs offer a coaching method for development conversations:
• Identify worries without judgment
• Explore the fear under the behaviour
• Help the person acknowledge the purpose of their protective parts
• Invite self-led decision making, rather than forced compliance
4. Group dynamics mirror inner dynamics
Departments often play roles like internal parts:
• “Firefighter” teams ‘put out’ or deal with crises
• “Manager” teams control risk
• “Exiled” groups feel ignored
A change leader’s job is to integrate, not dominate.
5. Self-led leadership improves outcomes
Leaders who model the 8 Cs create stability and confidence. When people see calm and clarity at the top, their parts relax.
Quick tool for leaders
Next time someone pushes back on change, try a short version of the 6 Fs:
• “What part of this change feels most concerning to you?”
• “What is that part trying to protect?”
• “What would help that part feel safer?”
You show respect, and you discover the real barrier.
(main source: Jeremy Sutton, 2022)