(More on Negotiations cont. 1)

Use of Silence in Negotiation

Introduction

For most Westerners, silence makes them feel uncomfortable as we tend to talk on top of one another, with little pause between point and counterpoint.

However silence can be an effective tool in negotiations.

Four advantages of silence

i) it helps you absorb what you are hearing (when the other party is talking, your tendency is to prepare your response rather than listen, ie
"...too busy thinking to listen closely..."
PON, 2022

Furthermore
...Allowing a few moments of silence in negotiation before you respond will help turn off your internal voice and listen more effectively..."

PON, 2022

A technique to help with this is to mentally count to 3 before responding.

Silence is part of active listening skills, ie paraphrasing, enquiring and acknowledging.

Need to get beyond the advocacy of your own point of view.

Remember:
"...When you are truly listening, the other party feels listened to..."
PON, 2022

In many ways listening skills are more important than talking skills.
"...Silence gives you the ability to dampen your instincts of self-advocacy and amplify your instinct to listen..."
PON, 2022)

ii) it allows you to defuse the situation (if the other party names an outrageous figure, concept, offer, etc, your stunned silence can be more effective than your verbal protests; it is most effective in phone-to-phone negotiation, as the other party will wonder if you have hung up in response to their aggressive offer!!!)

iii) it will allow you to minimise or avoid cognitive or psychological biases (we all suffer from these biases, eg framing, loss aversion, affirmation, etc (for more detail, see elsewhere in the Knowledge Base); silence gives us time to evaluate these biases, ie to diagnose 'what is going on here?'

iv) it allows you to 'go to the balcony' (in difficult situations you need to think like an outside party, ie take a helicopter point of view,
"...take a distanced view of close things..."
William Ury as quoted by
PON, 2022

In summary

Sometimes the best thing to say in a negotiation is nothing at all!!!!!

 

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