Emotions And Feelings (Cont.17)

Taking Things Personally

Developing skills to 'not to take things personally' is important in change management as emotions can 'boil over', especially when people feel challenged or threatened or vulnerable.

Some thoughts on how to handle personal attacks

1. Remain calm (the ability to not overreact and/or not to take things personally keeps your mind clear and your heart at peace)

2. Attacker's focus (understand that most personal attacks are not because of you; rather they are about the attacker)

3. Control what you can (you have more control over how you react than control over what others say and do; you have little to no control over others, ie

"...The way people treat you is their problem, but how you react is yours..."
Wayne Mansfield, 2021)

4. Freedom (detaching yourself from others' beliefs and behaviours creates freedom for you)

5. Unconscious bias, ie

"...often people do things and say things they have been conditioned to, not because they consciously want to..."
Wayne Mansfield, 2021

6. Energy transfer, ie

"...you can't control how people receive your energy. Whenever somebody interrupts, projects onto you, it is at least an issue or problem they themselves are dealing with..."
Wayne Mansfield, 2021

7. Evaluate constructive criticism (don't take it personally; evaluate with others whose thoughts you trust)

8. Relationships (view the behaviour of others as an indication of their relationship with themselves)

9. Self-autonomy, (don't allow other people to dominate your emotions, ie

"...To improve your self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth, stop allowing other people to be responsible for them..."
Wayne Mansfield, 2021)

10. Treat others like you want to be treated (realise that we all have good days and bad days; if people are rude, be kind and mindful

"...Give those around you the 'break' that you hope the world will give you on your own 'bad day'..."
Wayne Mansfield, 2021)

NB It's not about you

 

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