Emotions And Feelings (Cont.14)

11. When life is good (can cause joy, happiness, calmness, contentment, gratitude, forbearing joy, relief, tranquillity)

    a) joy is an intense feeling of deep spiritual connection, pleasure and an appreciation; it is sudden, unexpected, short lasting and of high intensity; it is characterised by a connection with others; it expands your thinking and attention, and fills us with a sense of freedom and abandon; linked with gratitude; one of the most vulnerable human emotions

    b) happiness occurs when feeling pleasure often related to the immediate climate of current circumstances; this emotion in his stable, longer-lasting and normally the result of effort; the word itself has many positive connotations; compared with joy, happiness has a lower intensity, is more self-focused, more self-controlled, more external and circumstantial; it is both a trait and a state; linked with joy and gratitude

    c) calmness creates perspective and mindfulness while managing emotional reactivity

"...When I think about calm people, I think about people who can bring perspective to complicated situations and experience their feelings without reacting to heightened emotions..."
Brené Brown, 2021

Some questions to ask around people being calm

"...Do they think their calmness is a trait or practice or both? Did maintaining calm feel like work or like a default setting? Did they see calm being modelled when growing up? Do you remember learning about it?..."
Brené Brown, 2021

More details on  calmness

        i) calm is an intention - it is also contagious like anxiety, intensity and reactivity
ii) rather than match the pace of anxiety, slow things down with breathing and tone
        iii) information for decision-making and response
- do you have enough to make to make a decision or formal response; what do you need to ask or learn?

    d) contentment is the feeling of completeness, appreciation that is experienced when your needs are satisfied; experience 'enoughness'; positively correlated with greater life satisfaction, well-being, etc;

    e) gratitude is an emotion that reflects your deep appreciation of what we value, what brings meaning to your lives and what makes us feel connected to yourselves and others; it is an emotion and a practice, ie tangible; linked with joy; part of appreciation; it is good for us physically, emotionally and mentally as it correlates with better sleep, increased creativity, decreased sense of entitlement, decreased hostility and aggression, increased decision-making skills, decreased blood pressure, etc

"...gratitude is an emotion that reflects a deep appreciation for what we value, what brings meaning to our lives, and what makes us feel connected to ourselves and others......But gratitude makes us appreciate the value of something, and when we appreciate the value of something, we extract more benefit from it; we are less likely to take it for granted.....gratitude allows us to participate more in life. We noticed the positives more, and that magnifies the pleasures you get from life. Instead of adapting to goodness, we celebrate goodness......with gratitude we become greater participants in our lives as opposed to spectators..."
Robert Emmons as quoted by Brené Brown, 2021

Gratitude is much more than accumulating materialistic gadgets.

    f) forbearing joy is if you allow yourselves to feel joy, you maybe inviting disaster, thus you need to prepare yourselves for the worst; when you lose the tolerance of vulnerability, joy becomes foreboding; when you push away from joy, you squander the goodness needed to build resilience, strength and courage.

    g) relief is the

"...feelings of tension leaving the body and being able to breathe more easily, thoughts of the worst being over and being safe for the moment, resting, wanting to get on to something else..."
Ira Roseman et al as quoted by Brené Brown, 2021

Involves a sigh of relief

"...Sighing serves as a type of reset button for our body. It not only signals relief to our body, but it enhances relief, and reduces muscle tension..."
Brené Brown, 2021

    h) tranquility is associated with the absence of demand and no pressure to do anything; tranquil environments provide restorative elements that are essential to counter mental fatigue and attention depletion; there are 4 essential elements, eg

        i) a sense of getting away
        ii) a feeling of immersion
        iii) holding attention without effort
        iv) compatability with one's preferences

There are auditory and visual components as well, such as elements of nature with low levels of noise.

Contentment is different from tranquillity - the former is linked with a sense of having completed something; with tranquillity, you relish the feeling of doing nothing


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