Ingredient 1.94 Information Exchange (conflict management)

Introduction

This involves the process of talking (speaking/responding), listening, questioning and restating so that you understand each other fully. It involves good listening, effective communications and good outcomes.

However,

"...almost always, each......knows only some parts of the relevant information. The process allows them share all information. This supports agreement, and good decisions..."

Bob Dick, 2021b

Person*i Activity Details
person 1 speaks describe an issue non-defensively, without blame or criticism or demand and as clearly as possible
person 2 listens listens non-defensively; with 'eyes as well as the ears', ie observes body language, tone of voice, words spoken, etc; with curiosity; appreciating what it is like for person 1 in the situation they are describing
person 2 questions asks questions around ambiguity, for clarity; no hint of challenge, criticism or defence
person 2 restates expresses in their own words what was understood that person 1 stated and/or implied; person 1 must be satisfied with person 2's explanation
then    
person 2 responds replies non-defensively, without blame or criticism or demand to what person 1 as said
person 1 listens listens non-defensively; with 'eyes as well as ears', ie observes body language, tone of voice, words spoken, etc; with curiosity; appreciating what it is like for person 1 in the situation they are describing
person 1 questions asks questions around ambiguity, for clarity; no hint of challenge, criticism or defence
person 1 restates expresses in their own words what was understood that person 2 stated and/or implied; person 2 must be satisfied with person 1's explanation
then   process repeats itself with each party responding while the other party listens, questions, restates, etc until there is full understanding of all the issues and an agreement is reached.

Notes

i) Person 1 selects an issue that requires attention and describes it to person 2. Person 2's  task is to understand from P erson 1's perspective and to listen with intense curiosity.

NB An important part of the process is when there is recognition that each is a real person and has value to add, ie

"...We identify with each other. We feel each other's pleasure and pain. We are motivated to act together in caring ways..."

Bob Dick, 2021b

 

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