vi) Collaborate with Someone You don't Like

The person may not be toxic or difficult. However, you just rub each other up the wrong way, ie the chemistry is not there. Anyway,

"...You don't get along with everyone, but there is potential value in every interaction..."

Mark Nevins, 2018

To handle this situation, you need to make sure that you are sending a message that you value the other's inputs, perspectives, thoughts, ideas, etc

You also need to reflect on the cause of tension and how you are responding to it. This involves acceptance and reflection.

Need to check if your reactions are the core of the problem.

NB you can change your reactions, as you have control over them, ie

"...look at what is causing the tension and what role you are playing..."

Mark Nevins, 2018

It is best to engage them directly, rather than using a third party. Although a third party can be used to start the right conversation and create a suitable environment for the appropriate discussion. The third party needs to be acceptable to both sides and can be useful if you are problems with the relationship later on.

You need to understand the differences in interpersonal styles and maybe change your approach.

Other suggestions include

- work to understand the other person's perspective, points of view, etc

- understand what is motivating them to act in a certain way

- find out how they perceive you

- become a problem-solver rather than a critic or competitor

- have an informal meeting, like a lunch, to get to know each other better (at a personal level), eg discover areas of common interest, understand personality types, (introvert v extrovert, planner v implementor, big picture v detail focus, etc), interests outside work.

- encourage conversation by using open-ended questions

- agree to meet regularly

NB you don't have to like somebody to work with them; you just need to appreciate each other.


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