xvii) Handling People
Not understanding fundamental techniques in handling people, ie
- don't criticise, condemn or complain
- give honest and sincere appreciation
. Not understanding ways to make people like you
- become genuinely interested in other people
- smile
- remember people's names
- be a good listener (encourage others to talk about themselves)
- talk in terms of the other person's interests
- make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely
. Not understanding how to win people to your way of thinking
- the only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
- show respect for the other person's opinions (never say: "you're wrong")
- if you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
- begin in a friendly way
- get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately
- let the other person do a great deal of talking
- let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers
- try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view
- be sympathetic to the other person's ideas and desires
- appeal to the nobler motives
- dramatise your ideas
- throw down a challenge
. Not appreciating ways for changing people's attitudes and behaviours
- begin with praise and honest appreciation
- call attention to people's mistakes indirectly
- talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person
- ask questions instead of giving direct orders
- let the other person save face
- praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise
- give the other person a fine reputation to live up to
- use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct
- make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest
(source: Dale Carnegie, 2003)
. Not understanding how to stop a disagreement from becoming an argument, ie
- need to welcome disagreement
- distrust your first instinctive impression
- control your temper
- listen first
- look for areas of agreement
- be honest
- promise to think over your other people's ideas and study them carefully
- postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem
(source: Dale Carnegie, 2003)
