xvii) Handling People

Not understanding fundamental techniques in handling people, ie

- don't criticise, condemn or complain

- give honest and sincere appreciation

. Not understanding ways to make people like you

- become genuinely interested in other people

- smile

- remember people's names

- be a good listener (encourage others to talk about themselves)

- talk in terms of the other person's interests

- make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely

. Not understanding how to win people to your way of thinking

- the only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it

- show respect for the other person's opinions (never say: "you're wrong")

- if you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically

- begin in a friendly way

- get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately

- let the other person do a great deal of talking

- let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers

- try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view

- be sympathetic to the other person's ideas and desires

- appeal to the nobler motives

- dramatise your ideas

- throw down a challenge

. Not appreciating ways for changing people's attitudes and behaviours

- begin with praise and honest appreciation

- call attention to people's mistakes indirectly

- talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person

- ask questions instead of giving direct orders

- let the other person save face

- praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise

- give the other person a fine reputation to live up to

- use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct

- make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

(source: Dale Carnegie, 2003)

. Not understanding how to stop a disagreement from becoming an argument, ie

- need to welcome disagreement

- distrust your first instinctive impression

- control your temper

- listen first

- look for areas of agreement

- be honest

- promise to think over your other people's ideas and study them carefully

- postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem

(source: Dale Carnegie, 2003)


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