Motivation

Not realizing that people are ultimately motivated by 1 of 2 fundamental emotional needs

"...the need to be admired or the need to be understood. For the most part, people have a fundamental need to be understood and it's this that often forms the basis of the emotional contract. By taking the time to communicate that you understand a person's experience, you establish a level of common ground that overcomes resistance and forms the basis for becoming receptive to you and your ideas..."

Martyn Newman, 2007

. Need to be careful of the 'deficiency motivation', ie

"...People often approach the challenge of achieving their potential by a desire to get more of something that they feel is missing, such as power, social approval, status, money or love. They work hard to be what they imagine they should be and to do what they think they should, both personally and professionally. In other words, they strive to achieve goals that originate as an extrinsic motivation..."

Martyn Newman, 2007

Extrinsic motivation is different from intrinsic motivation; the latter emerges from a desire to engage in an activity because you value it for the inherent satisfaction it provides

. Not realizing that people need to feel that they are in control

"...it's a feeling of not being in control......causes people to feel a lack of freedom and to feel trapped or vulnerable......negative emotions, such as anger, frustration and anxiety. Negative emotions are the primary causes not only of underachievement and failure, but also of bullying and passivity.....Every destructive emotion that we experienced as adults, we had to learn. It starts in early childhood through the process of imitation, practice, repetition and reinforcement. And, since negative emotions are learned, like most things, they can be unlearned and their effect on your behaviour minimized..."

Martyn Newman, 2007

 

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